1. Meet Rick.
AKA Ricky Rozay, AKA Da Boss, AKA the Teflon Don.
2. Some people assume that he cares about nothing more than partying, making money and sleeping with a plethora of women.
3. Quite the contrary. Rick Ross is actually the perfect picture of sophistication.
(And he prefers that you call him Richard).
4. For instance, did you know that Richard fancies himself an artist in the most traditional sense of the word?
5. For this masterpiece, he cites influences from both Manet and Georgione.
6. When he’s not at the easel, Richard can often be found deeply immersed in thought.
7. Sometimes that means grappling with the nature of materialism.
8. Other times it means considering just how meta one can get.
10. Additionally, he’s been known to make grand statements about irony.
Here he is pretending to smoke a marijuana branch that resembles an impossibly large joint.
11. Bet you didn’t know that he’s deeply involved in the political community.
Yep. That’s right. Here’s Richard with longtime friend and brunch-mate, Chelsea Clinton.
12. He’s made it clear that this interest in politics is a lifelong commitment.
By permanently tattooing the faces of his two favorites presidents on each of his breasts, he is constantly reminded of the democratic principles on which our government was founded.
14. And he isn’t afraid to explore other cultures.
15. When it comes to dining, he knows not to eat anything short of top quality, organic fare.
16. This has given him a greater appreciation for Flora,
18. You still don’t believe he’s sophisticated? This is what he had to say about the Anthony Weiner scandal.
“Chicks send me pictures,” Ross said. “And I appreciate it! I love all of them. But I don’t do that shit. I’m the Boss.” He shook his head, his expression hidden behind his candy-apple-red-framed aviator sunglasses. “Real niggas don’t send dick flicks.”
19. So, if you take one thing away from this, let it be that Rick Ross is a deep, intellectual man.
Well, deeper than rap at least.